how i hate nights

i must admit that i hate nights so very much, it makes me hard to close my eyes. frankly, i don't have the faintest idea why i don't like nights. could it be for the darkness that scares me? or i just don't like the idea that during those time most people are fast asleep while i'm not.

but then, why don't i just go to sleep if during that dark time people are supposed to take some rest by slumbering? that's because i have this terribly wonderful sleeping problem. it seems like wherever i'm locating (or should it be 'located'?), i'm always suffering from this jetlag problem. i just can't get my night sleep that easily.

and now it becomes a lil bit clearer why i hate nights so freaking much.

suicidal tendencies

supposed I am planning to commit suicide, then what method should I choose to make my plan runs successfully?

uhmmm, let me see...

1- I have no guts to slit my wrist. it must be so bloody painful. so, I'll leave this method out.

2- hanging myself up somewhere looks like a cheesy idea of committing suicide. let alone the length of time needed to be perfectly dead. I'll say no to this method.

3- what about lying down on a railway track waiting for a train to runover me? no fuckin way, mate! the idea is so outdated and even worst than method #2.

4- drinking some insect repellant like baygon? yuckh! I am not stupid enough to do that. the taste must be like hell and it is also time consuming. just drop the idea!

5- I am too chicken out to do freefall from 10th floor. the idea of flying free in the air for a second only to make my body and blood crushed and scattered all over the place really terrifies me. so, I need another method.

6- I reckon drugs would be quite alright. but I can't afford overdosing, too flipping expensive for me! again, I've to leave this method behind.

7- ...

dammit! I am running out of ideas... all I need is just a method of committing suicide that is quick, comfortable and painless. I never thought that it would be so hard.

please, don't get me wrong. I am not planning to commit suicide whatsoever . I am just trying to offer a comfy, easey-to-do method for those who need one. ftd!

the chemistry of love

Love is a simple four-letter word with complicated meaning to interpret. It becomes even more complicated and torturing when we are trying to see what it is actually that makes us difficult to eat, sleep or even to concentrate, because our mind is only focused on someone. So let's make our life easier by trying to understand more what love is all about, why we blush and our heart beats faster when we see the person we love, why we cry for them or even get jealous, and all other reactions related to the feeling of love.

It seems that when it comes to love, we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. Flushed cheeks can be seen as one of the examples. A scientific research has shown that MRI scans of the brain showed that there's more activity there concerned with pleasure and arousal resulting from three neurotransmitter hormones, i.e. adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin, as well as other hormones namely oxytocin and vasopressin. So, when we feel the pleasure of seeing our loved one, these hormonal reaction makes our blood pressure goes up and the blood flow increases to our cheeks. And that makes us blush.

To further understand the chemistry of love, it may be interesting to dig up more into love affecting hormones. As mentioned previously, there are 3 neurotransmitters playing important role in the first stage of love, which is the amazing time when we are truly struck with love and can't think of anything else. This stage is known as attraction stage, whereas the neurotransmitters involved here are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline
When we are falling for someone, we activate our stress response and increase our blood levels of adrenaline and cortisol. And this has the fascinating effect reflected when we unexpectedly bump into someone we love, we start to sweat, our heart races and our mouth goes dry.

Dopamine
Research has shown that dopamine stimulates desire and reward by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. Amazingly, it has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine. Now we know why love is so addictive. Further, love researcher, Helen Fisher said, "couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship."

Serotonin
One of the most important hormones of love is serotonin. This chemical is responsible to explain why our loved one keeps popping into our thoughts when we are in love.

Furthermore, there is another important stage of love after attraction, namely attachment. It is the bond that keeps couples together long enough to have and raise children. Scientist diagnose that there are two major hormones playing key roles in this stage, i.e. oxytocin and vasopressin.

Oxytocin
Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It could deepen the feeling of attachment between couples and makes them feel much closer to each other after having sex. Theoretically speaking, the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.

Vasopressin
Vasopressin, also known as anti-diuretic hormone, is another important hormone released after sex in the long-term commitment stage. It works with our kidneys to control thirst.

Now we have understood what chemicals play in our brain when we are in love. But then, since we are not scientists who can see any chemical reactions related to love in our brain, how do we know when we are in love or fancy someone? Psychologists state that it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone, without actually explaining what is going on within that frame of time. Further, research reveals that falling in love can be seen 55% through body language, 38% through the tone and speed of our voice and 7% through what we say.

However, apart from those percentages and chemical reactions for love presented by scientists, we must also realize that love is about interaction of two people in mutual connection. It is very important to give mutual understanding and to give each other space. Love also requires us to listen to our partner's feeling and not to impose what we think they ought to feel.

And now, after we get more understanding of the chemistry of love, maybe it's time for us to try to find our new love, our significant other, our soul mate.

Sources:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/
http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelov e.htm
http://www.open2.net/healthliving/body_mind/body_l ove.html
http://www.open2.net/healthliving/body_mind/love_a ddicts.html

twinkle, twinkle, little star

Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

When the blazing sun is gone,
When he nothing shines upon,
Then you show your little light,
Twinkle, twinkle, all the night.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

Then the trav'ler in the dark
Thank you for your tiny spark;
How could he see where to go,
If you did not twinkle so?
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

In the dark blue sky you keep, and
Through my curtains often peep,
For you never shut your eyes,
Till the morning sun does rise.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

As your bright and tiny spark
Lights the trav'ler in the dark,
Though I know not what you are,
Twinkle on, please, little star.
Twinkle, twinkle, little star,
How I wonder what you are!

dangerous game

yup, playing with somebody's heart is a very dangerous game. you'll never know how bad the effect on someone when s/he realises that actually you're not really into him/her and you're just playing a game without them knowing it.

if your heart is a real rock-made heart, then you wouldn't feel sorry for what you've done. But if you still have a real heart, you would regret what you've done, especially when s/he takes you seriously and shares whatever s/he feels for you and everything.

so... wake up, be humane and have a heart. stop doing it!

what mind, heart and eyes want...

your mind allows him to enter your life and give you the attention you need.
your heart still has a feeling for someone else.
your eyes couldn't actually accept him to be with you.

so, which one should win?
should it be your mind, heart or eyes?
or, should there be any compromise among the three?

friendster vs facebook

it is interesting actually to see how nowadays you can find and expand your networks of friendship through the Internet. There are various selections of networking applications offered on the net, but this time i will only talk about friendster and facebook.

friendster becomes quite big in the beginning of 2000's and grows even bigger later on. but it is quite interesting to see the fact that friendster is famous most likely only around asia, it doesn't expand widely towards europe or america. please correct me if i'm wrong.

as for facebook, the quite newly born baby, it goes extensively beyond all continents. how can i say that? because i can find more of my international friends from the uk and usa in facebook, even the one who is less active to be connected in the Internet.

however, i still keep both of my account in friendster and facebook active, as they keep different kind of people connected to me.

the reunion

it's so right that reunion with good old mates from school gives you a feeling of excitement. you are actually still in contact with them, but time constraint hinders you from meeting together. but once you have a chance to gather, it feels to bloody fun and amusing.

Ozone: Good in stratosphere, bad in troposphere

One of the major environmental problems we are facing these days is ozone depletion in stratospheric layer and the pollution in tropospheric layer. The ozone crisis is rapidly increasing in intensity and each year the ozone layer is severely damaged by the release of manmade chemicals containing millions of tonnes of ozone depleting substances (ODSs). Those substances are known as chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs), hydro chlorofluorocarbons (HCFCs), methyl bromide (MeBr), halons and other industrial compounds, which contain chlorine and bromine.

Ozone is a relatively unstable form of molecular oxygen containing three oxygen atoms (O3) and its production occurs in two layers of the atmosphere, i.e. troposphere and stratosphere. The production of ozone in low-level atmosphere (troposphere) is regarded negatively because the ozone in the layer comes from pollutants, which result from industrial activities, transport, and some natural sources. On the other hand, the natural production of ozone in the stratosphere is, however, necessary because it plays a key role in protecting life on Earth from the ultraviolet rays of the sun.

The problem we are facing now is the decreasing level in the stratosphere and the increasing level of ozone in the troposphere due to anthropogenic activities. This piece of writing will attempt to discuss the deteriorating conditions occurred in stratospheric and tropospheric layers as the result of anthropogenic activities, and how it affects life on Earth. Thus the writing will be divided into two sections. The first part will describe the condition of stratospheric ozone layer, i.e. the natural process of ozone production and destruction, polar winter, and the effects of ozone destruction. The last section will identify the production of tropospheric ozone caused by pollutants the resulted effects.

Stratospheric Ozone
Stratosphere is a part of atmospheric layer above the troposphere and extends from approximately 10 km to 50 km above the Earth and about 90 percent of Earth’s ozone production occurs in this layer. It is naturally formed and destroyed at a constant rate. Ozone molecules are constantly created in chemical reactions caused when the ultraviolet radiation from the sunlight strikes the stratosphere. The theory of the formation and depletion of ozone molecules is known as the Chapman’s theory.

Apart from their destruction by absorbing ultraviolet light, ozone molecules are also constantly being destroyed by natural compounds containing nitrogen, which comes from soil and the ocean, hydrogen that comes mostly from atmospheric water vapour, and chlorine from the oceans, also, it is destroyed when absorbing ultraviolet light.

The average amount of ozone in the stratosphere remains fairly constant when the creative and destructive forces occur naturally. But this natural ozone has gradually been depleted in recent decades by various human activities that release ozone-destroying chemicals into the atmosphere. The chemicals released into the atmosphere by industrial activities include chlorocarbon compounds (e.g. CCl4 and CH3Cl3), chlorofluorocarbon compounds or CFCs (e.g. CFCl3 and CF2Cl2) and halon compounds (e.g. CF3Br and CF2ClBr). Most of these chemical substances will remain unchanged long enough to drift up to the stratosphere because they are chemically stable compounds containing halogen atoms, i.e. chlorine or bromine.

CFCs are used for a wide variety of industrial purposes, e.g. in refrigeration systems, air conditioners, aerosols, solvents and in the production of some types of packaging, because they are relatively inexpensive, highly effective, stable in the atmosphere and non-toxic to humans. But once CFCs reach the stratosphere, the solar ultraviolet radiation will strike them and release chlorine (Cl), which acts as a catalyst. The chlorine atom repeatedly combines with and breaks apart ozone molecules and forming the single oxygen molecule and one chlorine monoxide molecule (ClO). Then, the chlorine monoxide molecule can combine with an oxygen atom to form an oxygen molecule and release the chlorine to begin the process all over again. Through this cycle, one chlorine atom can destroy up to 100.000 ozone molecules and deplete ozone much faster than nature can replace it. Other common industrial solvents, which contains lower chlorine such as methyl chloroform and carbon tetrachloride and halons containing bromine act in a similar way.

In Antarctica, the ozone-depleting compounds have worsened the stratospheric ozone condition for the few decades. The key ingredients for polar ozone losses are high chlorine and bromine levels, cold temperatures during the late winter, and relative isolation of the polar region from the midlatitudes. During winter in the austral or southern hemisphere (May-July), the stratospheric air over the Antarctic gets colder than the air anywhere else because it is isolated from warmer, lower-altitude air by a strong set of confining winds known as the polar cortex. The polar cortex isolates the air until it gets so cold down to -80°C and then develops polar stratospheric clouds (PSCs). Through chemical reactions, particle surfaces in these clouds can create more reactive halogen chemicals. Thus when the first light of austral spring (August-November) reaches these molecules, they break apart and release massive levels of the chlorine and bromine atoms that drive catalytic destruction cycles.

In the northern hemisphere, the Arctic polar vortex is much weaker than the Antarctic vortex. Also, the temperatures in the northern hemisphere are substantially warmer during midwinter and it remains warm by early spring. Because of these warmer temperatures, the formation of PSC is much less there. As a result, heterogeneous chemistry and the activation of chlorine are much less frequent in northern hemisphere. Therefore, the warmer temperatures of arctic pole prevent the massive losses of ozone compared to the Antarctic pole.

As the stratospheric ozone layer is depleted, higher ultraviolet radiation reaches the earth’s surface and harms human health, freshwater and marine ecosystems, reduce crop yields, and affect forests. The impacts of the increased UV levels include the increasing cases of skin cancers, cataracts, and impaired immune systems; decreasing growth of some crops, such as canola, barley, oats and soybeans; decreasing the amount of single-celled plants, known as phytoplankton in the ocean, which could ultimately affect fish populations; reducing the construction materials used outdoor; increasing the resistance of trees that grow at higher elevations, where UV is naturally stronger.

In order to cope with the stratospheric ozone depletion, a series of international agreements on the reduction and elimination of production and use of ozone depleting substances are implemented, e.g. the Montreal Protocol. These efforts will result in recovery of the ozone layer in the next 50 years.

Tropospheric Ozone
Located 0-15 km above the Earth, the troposphere is known as the ground-level atmosphere layer where all weather takes place. The ozone produced in this ground level is known as bad ozone. This ground-level ozone has two major sources, i.e. intrusion from the stratosphere and production from photochemical reactions. The tropospheric ozone plays several key roles in the atmosphere because although it oxidises many chemical substances in troposphere and controls tropospheric chemistry, it is also a gaseous pollutant harmful for human being and crops; it oxidises many chemical substances in troposphere and controls tropospheric chemistry; and it is a green house gas that contributes to the global warming.

Tropospheric ozone is formed by the interaction of sunlight, particularly ultraviolet light, with volatile organic compounds (VOCs) and nitrogen oxides (NOx), which are emitted by automobiles, gasoline vapours, fossil fuel power plants, refineries, and certain other industries. VOCs are organic compounds that contain carbon and hydrogen and can evaporate easily, e.g. octane, butane and sugar, which are mostly emitted by motor vehicles, vegetation, industry, commerce, dry cleaners, and paints. While, nitrogen oxides like nitric oxide (NO) and nitrogen dioxide (NO2) are released into the atmosphere when fossil fuels like oil, coal and natural gas are burned. It is mostly emitted by motor vehicles, power plants, industrial facilities, biomass burning and lighting. When released into the atmosphere, both VOCs and NOx can produce ozone and other harmful pollutant that lead to smog, which is sometimes called as photochemical smog or photochemical air pollution. The air pollutants typically found in smog include oxidized organic compounds (usually aldehydes, e.g. formaldehyde) ozone, sulphur oxides, and nitrogen oxides.

As mentioned previously, tropospheric ozone is also a greenhouse gas (GHG) because it absorbs upward directed terrestrial radiation. It plays a key role in atmospheric chemistry. As a strong oxidant, it affects the lifetimes and the concentrations of most atmospheric trace gases, including CH4 and the replacements of the CFCs such as hydro chlorofluorocarbons (HCFCs) and hydro fluorocarbons (HFCs), which, in turn, are greenhouse gases that have implications for global climate.

The increased ground-level ozone causes some harmful impacts to humans, plants, and materials. Tropospheric ozone is harmful to human health because it reacts readily with the membranes of the eye and those lining the lung's air passages. It may cause human health problems, e.g. eye irritation, breathing problems, lung damage, coughing, wheezing, chest tightness or pain, dry throat, headache or nausea, intensification of asthma symptoms, reduced resistance to infection; reduced functioning of the immune system, tired feeling, and increased cardio-respiratory deaths. Also, the ozone can harm plants, trees, and crops by preventing the plant from being able to use the sun's energy by reacting with the molecular links between the carbon atoms (called the carbon-carbon bonds) in the plant's photosynthetic mechanism. Furthermore, ground-level ozone affects materials by deteriorating and reducing the strength of products made of rubber and certain fabrics because ozone is a strong oxidant.

The problem of tropospheric ozone is not easy to solve. Tighter controls on vehicle and industrial emissions of NOx and VOCs and a reduction in biomass burning and traffic levels would reduce emissions of ozone precursors and ozone formation.

The problems of stratospheric ozone depletion and tropospheric ozone production are mostly due to anthropogenic activities that release manmade chemicals containing millions of tonnes of ozone depleting substances and tones of air pollutants. Those activities are not only causing ozone problems, but also harmfully affect human’s health and plants. In order to avoid those harmful effects, a series of international agreements to reduce the pace of ozone depletion in stratosphere and ozone production in troposphere have been held, e.g. the 1985 Vienna Convention on the Protection of the Ozone Layer and the 1987 Montreal Protocol on Substances that Deplete the Ozone Layer, which are arranged to freeze and decrease the production CFC to certain levels.

some favourite quotes

belows are some of my favourite quotes I got from many online sources...

God wants spiritual fruits, not religious nuts.

Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

Someday your prince will come. Mine got lost took a wrong turn and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

When I married 'Mr. Right,' I didn't know his first name was 'always.'

If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you. HOWEVER...the roses are dead, the violets are wilting, the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head.

God must love idiots… S/He made so many!

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

People have the right to be stupid, but some people abuse the privilege.

"Where were you when they were passing out brains?" ~Calvin

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

I'm learning real skills that I can apply throughout the rest of my life... Procrastinating and rationalizing.

Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. (The Indispensable Calvin and Hobbes, p221)

why ladies still single

I've got this from a friend who forward the email to me. And it's somewhat true :D

Why Ladies Today Still SINGLE!

Description:
Top reasons why ladies today are still SINGLE

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome,somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in
us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our
job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into
something you'd like to have dinner with."

the fee

I was wondering how much it is more or less the fee for a translator per day. I heard from a friend it could be around US$ 100 per day, another friend mentioned a number much way lower than that.

And now I'm in doubt, should I mention around 100 or less than that? I'm afraid the person would say it's too expensive. I know that bargaining can be done to bridge the two of us, but I don't like bargaining :D

So....???

interesting quote

"Friday I established with force a life's program; in such instants my solitude is an intoxication: I am, I dominate, I love myself and despise the rest. But I would so like to have the right, me as well, of being simple and very weak, of being a woman; in what a 'desert world' I walk, so arid, with the only oases my intermittent estime for myself. I count on myself; I know that I can count on myself. But I would prefer to have no need to count on myself. Could I again bear to suffer as I suffered in writing these lines?" (Simone de Beauvoir)

life and its accessories

it's about life and the accessories surrounding it. thus, there could be so many things to talk about, be it love, relationship, people, places, wisdom, philosophy, stories and many more.

let's just see, read and enjoy it.