suicidal tendencies

supposed I am planning to commit suicide, then what method should I choose to make my plan runs successfully?

uhmmm, let me see...

1- I have no guts to slit my wrist. it must be so bloody painful. so, I'll leave this method out.

2- hanging myself up somewhere looks like a cheesy idea of committing suicide. let alone the length of time needed to be perfectly dead. I'll say no to this method.

3- what about lying down on a railway track waiting for a train to runover me? no fuckin way, mate! the idea is so outdated and even worst than method #2.

4- drinking some insect repellant like baygon? yuckh! I am not stupid enough to do that. the taste must be like hell and it is also time consuming. just drop the idea!

5- I am too chicken out to do freefall from 10th floor. the idea of flying free in the air for a second only to make my body and blood crushed and scattered all over the place really terrifies me. so, I need another method.

6- I reckon drugs would be quite alright. but I can't afford overdosing, too flipping expensive for me! again, I've to leave this method behind.

7- ...

dammit! I am running out of ideas... all I need is just a method of committing suicide that is quick, comfortable and painless. I never thought that it would be so hard.

please, don't get me wrong. I am not planning to commit suicide whatsoever . I am just trying to offer a comfy, easey-to-do method for those who need one. ftd!