the chemistry of love

Love is a simple four-letter word with complicated meaning to interpret. It becomes even more complicated and torturing when we are trying to see what it is actually that makes us difficult to eat, sleep or even to concentrate, because our mind is only focused on someone. So let's make our life easier by trying to understand more what love is all about, why we blush and our heart beats faster when we see the person we love, why we cry for them or even get jealous, and all other reactions related to the feeling of love.

It seems that when it comes to love, we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. Flushed cheeks can be seen as one of the examples. A scientific research has shown that MRI scans of the brain showed that there's more activity there concerned with pleasure and arousal resulting from three neurotransmitter hormones, i.e. adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin, as well as other hormones namely oxytocin and vasopressin. So, when we feel the pleasure of seeing our loved one, these hormonal reaction makes our blood pressure goes up and the blood flow increases to our cheeks. And that makes us blush.

To further understand the chemistry of love, it may be interesting to dig up more into love affecting hormones. As mentioned previously, there are 3 neurotransmitters playing important role in the first stage of love, which is the amazing time when we are truly struck with love and can't think of anything else. This stage is known as attraction stage, whereas the neurotransmitters involved here are adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin.

Adrenaline
When we are falling for someone, we activate our stress response and increase our blood levels of adrenaline and cortisol. And this has the fascinating effect reflected when we unexpectedly bump into someone we love, we start to sweat, our heart races and our mouth goes dry.

Dopamine
Research has shown that dopamine stimulates desire and reward by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. Amazingly, it has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine. Now we know why love is so addictive. Further, love researcher, Helen Fisher said, "couples often show the signs of surging dopamine: increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship."

Serotonin
One of the most important hormones of love is serotonin. This chemical is responsible to explain why our loved one keeps popping into our thoughts when we are in love.

Furthermore, there is another important stage of love after attraction, namely attachment. It is the bond that keeps couples together long enough to have and raise children. Scientist diagnose that there are two major hormones playing key roles in this stage, i.e. oxytocin and vasopressin.

Oxytocin
Oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone, is a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm. It could deepen the feeling of attachment between couples and makes them feel much closer to each other after having sex. Theoretically speaking, the more sex a couple has, the deeper their bond becomes.

Vasopressin
Vasopressin, also known as anti-diuretic hormone, is another important hormone released after sex in the long-term commitment stage. It works with our kidneys to control thirst.

Now we have understood what chemicals play in our brain when we are in love. But then, since we are not scientists who can see any chemical reactions related to love in our brain, how do we know when we are in love or fancy someone? Psychologists state that it takes between 90 seconds and 4 minutes to decide if you fancy someone, without actually explaining what is going on within that frame of time. Further, research reveals that falling in love can be seen 55% through body language, 38% through the tone and speed of our voice and 7% through what we say.

However, apart from those percentages and chemical reactions for love presented by scientists, we must also realize that love is about interaction of two people in mutual connection. It is very important to give mutual understanding and to give each other space. Love also requires us to listen to our partner's feeling and not to impose what we think they ought to feel.

And now, after we get more understanding of the chemistry of love, maybe it's time for us to try to find our new love, our significant other, our soul mate.

Sources:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/
http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelov e.htm
http://www.open2.net/healthliving/body_mind/body_l ove.html
http://www.open2.net/healthliving/body_mind/love_a ddicts.html